Friday, December 7, 2012

The Lipman Awards

It's time for the annual Lipman awards. Winning a Lipman is as prestigious as an Emmy or an Oscar. Just ask me.

Top 5 most under-rated movies of all time:

5. Mask - I still cry when I watch this movie. Not to be confused with Jim Carrey's The Mask. I cried in that movie too but for different reasons.
4. A League of Their Own - see above
3. 25th Hour - Ed Norton has never been better. Great young cast including Philip Seymour Hoffman. A Spike Lee Film.
2. Taken - Liam Neeson has never been better.

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Better Off Dead... - I'm amazed at how many people have not seen this movie. So many great lines.

Top 5 most under-rated actors of all time:

5. Ben Foster (Alpha Dogs)- see Ben in Alphadogs and you'll know what I mean. He's done some other stuff too but the guy is a heck of an actor.
4. Billy Zane - have you seen Titanic or better yet Dead Calm?
3. Vincent D'Onofrio - Watch Law & Order Criminal Intent and Full Metal Jacket
2. Clancy Brown - he's the security guard from Shawshank Redemption and he's awesome! He reminds me of Richard Kiel (JAWS)

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Sam Rockwell - there are too many parts to go through but he was the crazy criminal in the Green Mile.
Honorable Mention: Tim Curry, Richard Kiel, Michael Ironside, J.K. Simmons, Ed Lauter, Frank Whaley and Billy Crudup

Top 5 most under-rated actresses of all time:

5. Catherine Keener - so many roles and always good
4. Laura Linney - great in Love Actually
3. Kathy Bates - just watch Misery
2. Juliette Lewis - Just watch the Other Sister. She was amazing and she really has great versatility - drama or comedy - great in What's Eating Gilbert Grape too

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Rachel McAdams - Mean Girls, The Notebook, etc.

Top 5: I don't understand the big deal about:

5. Julia Roberts - I swear she has incriminating pictures on someone in Hollywood because I don't get how she gets so many big movies and magazine covers. She's average at best.

4. Cameron Diaz - See above.

3. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian or any socialite

2. Matthew McConaughey's chest

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Honey Boo Boo - I can't tell you how much this show's success gets to me.

Top 5 Please stop showing up on the covers of magazines; it's annoying:

5. Julia Roberts - do you see a trend?
4. J-Lo: No one thinks more of J-Lo than J-Lo
3. Cameron Diaz: Seriously, I can't go grab a Hershey bar without seeing her on a magazine cover.
2. Justin Bieber: I'm not a believer.

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Britney Spears - She was the It Girl in the 2000's. Now, not so much.

Top 5 Most over-rated movies:

5. The Sixth Sense - Look, I loved the end of this movie but quite honestly the rest of it is not that good.
4. Napoleon Dynamite - I laughed a lot but was it really worth of all of the accolades?
3. Any of the Lord of the Rings movies - I fell asleep to most of them.
2. Any movie starring Ben Stiller

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Avatar - the graphics were cool but the movie did nothing for me.

Top 5 Most Over-rated actors:

5. Adam Sandler - he's kind of lost it.
4. Will Ferrell - at one point I loved him. Not now.
3. Keanu Reeves - he annoys me
2. Nicolas Cage

And the Lipman goes to:

1. Ben Stiller

And now for the funniest part of the show. I found an old list of my top 10 Hollywood crushes from 2000. Here is the list and my feelings now:

10. Jenny McCarthy - I'm sorry but once she started dating Jim Carrey and getting into politics, I think I preferred Andrew McCarthy.
9. Tara Reid - Plastic Surgery has been very, very bad to her.
8. Melissa Joan Hart - Like her career, she has plummetted.
7. Eliza Dushku - She's not top 10 material anymore. Sorry Eliza
6. Kate Beckinsale - Still in my top 10. Good job Kate!
5. Anna Kournikova - one of the few that would still be in my top 10.
4. Jessica Alba - still a pretty girl but just heard she's having her 3rd kid. Jessica, that's not a good way to stay in the Top 10.
3. Christina Aguilera - Ummm...yeah, let's just say she's not the Christina of 2000.
2. Jessica Simpson - O.J. Simpson looks better right now.
1. Britney Spears - She's lost it in more ways than one. I can't believe what has happened to her. Britney, we will always have 2000.

And I had a crush on my wife in 2000 and she's still be my number 1 (especially in this shirt). Awwww!

Thank you for watching The Lipman Awards!


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