Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My numbers are down but I'm not!

First off, some "firsts" for the Lipman family. Avery can now ride her bike by herself. Check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB2VXHI_n9s&list=UUPQYHxtjw13fc2HmrHhUKKw&index=1

Go Avery!

Second, Andrea just found out today that we can stop towel walking Magic. It's been about 16 weeks. This is a big step in the recovery process. Go Magic!

Ethan is getting really good at writing his letters. Today he made me an S. I'm very proud of the little guy. Go Ethan!

Now, back to the topic.

I have not been openly discussing it but since this is a blog I guess it's a good forum to tell people that I've been under the weather for several weeks since about a week before Wish for Wendy (early November). I'm sure part of it is the weather and the viruses that go around. I went to the doctor on Friday and my numbers were down 4%. It's frustrating and I'm emotionally spent.

Last time I got sick, I grew this. That's also when I was battling clinical depression. Not this time (you're welcome Andrea and Avery). Though I think ZZ Top would love another band member.

There was good news from the appointment too. My blood pressure was normal and my weight was stable. My chest sounded good and I was able to find a good parking space at the hospital. Ok, I might be overdoing the positives a bit.

Wish for Wendy is over and softball season ended last week (Champs again!!!). I was proud that I played in that game and contributed to the win. I knew I wasn't 100% but I also knew that I wasn't going to use that as an excuse. I did bench myself for half the game so I could rest. I have no excuse not to take the time to take care of myself. If that means saying "No" to a few things right now then so be it.

Look, I get that things could be worse. In fact, I just found out one of my good friends with CF was recently on a ventilator with pneumonia and just recently got taken off the vent and is doing somewhat better. Sadly, in the CF world, things like that happen to people. It's one of the primary reasons I write books about staying positive with this disease. I'm hoping she can fight this and continue to get better. Please keep her in your prayers.

I'm not sad or depressed about things. I've already had the calls with my parents telling me everything will be ok. I know that but it's when you're in the midst of sickness it's difficult not to feel the frustration especially when you are dealing with exhaustion from taking so many meds. I find myself napping quite a bit during lunch at work.

I'm just sick of being sick. I've been on 3 different courses of oral antibiotics in the past 6 weeks. I'm waking up at 5 a.m. every morning to do my TOBI. I've doubled up on my Pulmozyme. Sometimes I think I'm a tougher doctor on myself than my own doctor. I'm still keeping up the workout routine. That's one thing I can't eliminate as that is what is going to help get me better. This morning, I did a 30 minute workout plus 25 minutes on the treadmill. I'm coming up with a new P90X for CFers. I'm going to call it. BCFX! Beat CF eXtreme!

Andrea and the kids keep me smiling. Ethan plays Xbox football with me in the morning (he will only be Georgia and I have to be some division 2 school) and Avery enjoys kicking my butt at UNO. I just learned how to play Scramble on my phone and Andrea is beating me like a drum.

There is a part of me that wants a pity party. That's the part of me that used to prevail but that's no longer the case. I deal with my emotions a lot better now (in fact I reached my 3-year sobriety birthday this past November). I found myself doing dips in the doctor's office while I waited for her to show up after finding out my PFT results. I considered finding a playground and doing pullups on the jungle gym but I had to tell myself to slow down. Getting better is not going to be instant. It will take time.

On a personal note, I'm sad that the Walking Dead won't be back until February. That has become my show. Andrea just got us Netflix so I'm looking forward on catching up with some horrible horror movies (Just saw Paranormal Activity 3 - creepy). Thanks honey! Here's a quick funny story. I just saw Hostel 3. I'd seen the other 2 so I had to complete the trilogy. The star was Kip Pardue (QB from Remember the Titans). I didn't realize that before I started watching. The funny story is Kip's sister is one of my good friends so I had to e-mail her after watching it. I just thought that was pretty neat.

Today CF is getting the best of me and probably has been for several weeks now...BUT don't expect that to continue much longer. CF, enjoy it while you can. This is only a small battle and I plan to win the war.

I will make CF stand for Can Fight!

Live your dreams and love your life.

Thanks for listening.


No comments:

Post a Comment