Friday, July 9, 2010

A good week and another skeleton revealed

Good Friday everyone. First, the credit for this picture goes to a random person at a Braves game. Thank you random person. I hope you enjoyed the game.

Last night I went to one of my meetings that I try to go to weekly. The meetings consist of people with similar issues as mine. One of the guys told me that he was having a good week, much better than last. We started talking and we realized it had nothing to do with the goings on during the week. It had more to do with him and how he dealt with his issues. It seems the better your attitude the more things look up in your life. I’ve always been a proponent that attitude is everything but for a long time I’d forgotten what that meant.

I had another friend e-mail me today. We hadn’t talked in ages. Seems that he goes through his own issues and I’m proud of him for being brave enough to talk to me about them. He will remain anonymous but I hope you’re reading this. Proud of you, buddy.

So if I’m to reveal another skeleton of mine, I’ve actually been an out-patient at a mental institute. I was there for 4 weeks. I’ve had a problem that my therapist believes began when something happened to me as a child and it affected me as an adult and therefore affected my family. This is a different issue from the babysitter and I believe it affected me a lot greater though I take full responsibility for not getting help sooner. I will disclose it in time.

Many of you have told me how brave I am. Give a lot of credit to Andrea. She’s had to endure so much through this and she is quite brave herself. Usually I would make some stupid joke here and segue being brave to the first place Atlanta Braves but for once I’m being quite serious. I’m proud of her and sorry for how tough I’ve made things. I'm excited to be taking her to dinner tonight. I don't think anything will beat Indigo in Roswell though, perhaps McDonalds in Norcross. We'll see.

Again I’m only releasing one skeleton at a time so we’ll say the “mental institute” will suffice for now. Opening up about the rehab center is my moment of bravery I suppose. I probably can't talk about it in person yet but eventually I will. So just keep following the blog.

Last night’s Tobi session ended by midnight. I watched my Law and Order: Criminal Intent and then watched the highlights from LBJSPN, I mean ESPN. This LeBron James story has gotten so out of hand. First, I feel bad for Cleveland and I hope karma catches up to LeBron and he never wins a title and Cleveland does. Secondly, why do we give athletes or any celebrity for that matter so much power and pay them so much money? Is entertainment so important? Don’t you think there are others that would play this game or act in a movie for a teacher’s salary? Speaking of teachers’ salaries, that’s another issue of mine. Teachers deserve more money! Military personnel deserve more money. Professional athletes and celebrities deserve far less. I’m not calling them all out. There are some good men and women who use their money to help charities, start foundations and such. Sorry, had to get that one off my chest today. Thanks LeBron.

I had the red dead skin around my ankle checked out. It was nothing more than old dead skin but it has swelled up pretty big. That means I’ll have to put an ointment on it for the next 6 months to get it better. So I only have to deal with 6 more months of people staring at it and asking “Ugh, what’s that?” Terrific! At least I can cross off one doctor from my list.

I started crying today. A friend of mine has 2 close loved ones in the ICU and it made me think back to when Ethan was at NICU at Piedmont and Scottish Rite. I had a really tough time remembering today. I was so scared we were going to lose him. I wanted a boy so badly and I wasn’t even going to see him get out of the hospital. I still have the NICU number on my phone that I entitled Ethan. Sometimes I call and hang up really quickly just to remind myself of how scary it was and how much we went through with little E. It makes me appreciate what we have a whole lot more.

It was tougher on my dad then who said it reminded him of the happenings with my sister, Wendy, and he didn’t want Andrea and I to have to go through the same thing. I’m so fortunate to have a great family. I haven’t always treated them that way but I think they are seeing that more now. Yes, I baby Ethan quite a bit and Avery too but perhaps it’s because I want to enjoy every moment. And that’s not just because I have CF and my years could be limited; it’s because I wasn’t sure I’d have kids and two years ago I wasn’t sure one of them would live. I’m lucky and every day they’re going to know how much I appreciate being so fortunate.

No matter how much Ethan cries or no matter how much my depression affects me, I still feel good about life again. I guess that’s my attitude telling me that it’s a good week.

Have a good one.


1 comment:

  1. Andy,

    What you write about and how you express yourself is truly moving and enlightening. I follow your blog with care and interest.

    I wish you the best always and stand with during the good and not-so-good times.