Monday, July 26, 2010

Andrea's birthday weekend and Finding Closure

I think Andrea had a great birthday weekend. Friday night we went to the Atlanta Tennis Championships and got to see Andy Roddick and Marty Fish play their quarterfinal matches. The traffic to get there was miserable. It took us 45 minutes to drive 2.1 miles. I kept wanting to say "Big Ben, Parliament." It was really hot there but still worth it to see some top tennis players in action. It was also nice to find a new babysitter for Avery and Ethan. She did a really good job. As usual, I checked with Avery the next morning to see how it went. I'm still untrusting of any babysitter since my childhood traumas.

On Saturday, we took the kids to a place called Sensations which is a place where kids can play and learn about different things like balance and light. It's kind of like SciTrek but you can actually play with everything. Avery met her boyfriend Doug there. Yes, she's 4 and she has a boyfriend. I am trying to be supportive but I didn't plan for her to start dating until she was 30 so this is difficult. On Sunday, we went to the mall which was an adventure as always. Then I surprised Andrea thanks to Ross and Summer who gave me the idea of Troy came out and cooked us dinner at our house. Andrea's only clue was that we'd been to this place many times (our own house). I highly recommend Troy for you guys and women as he is a very nice guy and does a tremendous job. I'd hire him again. It's been a tough year for Andrea and I but I was glad to show her that I love her and I wanted this to be a very special birthday. Honorable mention to my parents who took Avery and Ethan for the night. It was nice not waking up at 6 a.m. to hear Avery chanting "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" or Ethan crying "Mommy, Daddy, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I included a picture from last night of Troy and Andrea. Is it me or does Troy look like Hootie?

Quick Sports Updates

The Braves lost 2 out of 3 to the Marlins thanks to Bobby Cox. I'm actually looking forward to a new manager coming in and I hope we get him from a different organization. It's time to go in another direction. Thanks Bobby for all the years but I think it's time for a change.

I think I went an entire weekend without hearing about a Georgia player being thrown off the team. That's good news.

My softball team has a 6:30 game at Brookhaven tonight. This is our chance to move back into first place. We have just enough guys to field a team which means I'll be playing the entire game. I hope to drive in a few runs tonight.

I had a really good workout on Friday. I lifted 10 reps of 180 pounds twice and then 10 reps of 200 pounds once. I'm really increasing the weight on my workouts. I ran for about 10 minutes this morning and then did a 30 minute workout between treatments. Only one more week of Tobi till I get a month-long break.

I let my daughter watch an old DVD we had of the Wonder Woman series from the early eighties. I've learned two things from watching. Special effects have come a long way in the past three decades and I now know why Lynda Carter was not up for any Emmys. Avery kept asking when does she turn into Wonder Woman. I kept asking when do we put this on mute.

I didn't suffer any bouts from depression this weekend. Thursday was good because I saw a good friend at a meeting. He had been suffering and he was now in recovery. I was really happy to see him and we got to chat for a little bit. I feel like I'm starting to become more of a leader in my group. I used to feel like an outsider. I now know that I belong. My biggest issue was never my emotional issues or the way I coped with them or how I treated my family. My biggest issue was that I didn't realize that I had serious issues and therefore I let them go on. I'm glad now that I am accepting of them regardless of how awful I feel about the things that happened.

I found myself last week after I sent my blog on Facebook looking for people from my past. I found two of my old babysitters. I don't know. I'm trying to find people that were a part of my tumultuous past, even if they were not the ones that affected my life in a negative way. I need closure and I'm trying to find it any way I can. I assume that it will help my present and future.

I go to see my therapist this week. George and I have a good relationship. He has really helped me to dig into my past to find out why I've had recent issues that have affected me negatively. I work every day to improve my marriage, my role as a father to my children and I still want to be a role model for kids with CF. While I'm not close to perfect in how I've coped with my disease and how I've treated my family, I have learned how to fight against several physical and emotional enemies and I feel like I can help those that deal with this disease. That's one of the things I hope this blog accomplishes.

I was thinking how life comes full circle today. When I was little, I used to dream that Wendy would ask if I needed help but I never accepted her proposal. Yet when I finally did get help at a rehabilitation facility, it was on the same highway exit as the cemetary that my sister was buried in. I visited her three times as well as my friend Jon Barkan who passed away much too early in life. I placed a Wish for Wendy softball on his grave because I wanted him to know how much I appreciated his support for our event but mostly I wanted him to know how truly invaluable his friendship was to me. I know I speak for many when I say "There were people who loved Jon Barkan and the rest of the people never got to meet him." He was a wonder, wonderful man.

That's all for today. Have a nice week everyone. To those of you suffering, keep fighting. Today always has a chance to be the first day of the rest of your life.

Best Wishes,


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