Thursday, January 2, 2014

Top 25 things I didn't know until I started watching The Disney Channel with my kids

Here are the Top 25 things I learned now that I watch the Disney Channel and listen to Radio Disney with my kids:

25. Ariana Grande is not a new meal at Taco Bell...but it sounds delicious!

24. Austin and Ally is not a spin-off of Kate and Allie.

23. Austin Mahone (Disney Pop Star) is not the star of Austin and Ally.

22. There is actually a guy on Dog with A Blog who was at my Bar Mitzvah. Hi Adam Kulbersh!

21. A.N.T. Farm has nothing to do with Animal Planet...and neither does Dog with A Blog or Fish Hooks for that matter.

20. Though Justin Bieber just retired, he is not old...though his antics are.

19. I can have a song written about me. All I have to do is date Taylor Swift.

18. R5 is not a new car model.

17. Good Luck Charlie is not Charlie Sheen's new reality show nor is it a letter from Denise Richards addressed to Mr. Sheen.

16. The Wizards of Waverly Place has nothing to do with Harry Potter.

15. Radio Disney is not a place to hear "It's a Small World After All."

14. Bella Thorne is not a type of flower.

13. Teen Beach Movie is the equivalant of "The Christmas Story" on Christmas Day on TBS. It's on ALL THE TIME!

It's probably on as we speak.

12. There is only one 30-minute show centered around Mickey Mouse who in my opinion IS Disney.

11. Miley Cyrus was once a sweet innocent girl.

10. If you wanted to see what Gary Coleman's Arnold Jackson character from Diff'rent Strokes would look like if played by a girl watch Zuri from Jessie.

9. If you want to see Saved by the Bell for this generation, watch "Austin and Ally."

Sorry Zach Morris!

8. If you like irony, watch Shake It Up because the show never actually does "shake it up." It's the same plotline every episode.

7. If your kid likes to be called by their first middle and last name (ie: China Anne McLain or Bradley Steven Perry), they will either be a serial killer or a star on the Disney Channel. I'm not sure which is worse.

6. Frenemies is actually the name of a movie. I am now sending ideas to Disney as we speak. Check out my new shows "Athleticouch-potatoes", "Courag-Just scared", and bash-full of life".

5. If you have a show idea which features a smart young kid, a not-so-smart older kid, happy-go-lucky parents and an animal that talks, call 1-800-WDISNEY. You'll move to the front of the line.

4. If you ever wondered what it would be like to combine "Diff'rent Strokes", "Mr. Belvedere" and "The Nanny", tune into "Jessie."

3. Liv & Maddie is a show about 2 twins who are nothing alike but they are played by the same person - Dove Cameron. This is the exact opposite of Full House where 2 sisters (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) played the same girl (Michelle Tanner). I just hope Dove Cameron makes half the money the Olsen twins did.

2. There is actually a guy on Jessie who was at my Bar Mitzvah. Hi Adam Kulbersh! (Yeah, same guy, but I have to get to 25 here).

He saw me become a man 27 years ago!

1. And the top thing I've learned from watching the Disney Channel and listening to Radio Disney is my kids have me wrapped around their little fingers!

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