Thursday, February 14, 2013

I'm in the Little Leagues now!

Well, I offered to be a coach in Ethan's tee ball league and lo and behold I'm the head coach of Ethan's team. We had the draft Tuesday night.

I've only drafted fantasy league and not 4 and 5 year old kids so this was interesting. So that leads me to today's Top
10 list.

Here are the top 10 things you might overhear between a commissioner and a coach at a little league draft.

10. Has this kid been tested for Flintstone Vitamins?

9. Commissioner: This kid was out most of last season.

Coach: "Why? Tommy John surgery? ACL tear?"

Commissioner: No, he had too much homework.

8. The kid is a Big League Chew addict.

7. The kid has been juicing - Hi-C mostly.

6. I want a birth certificate on this kid. He looks 7.

5. Nobody puts baby "on the hot corner."

4. Commissioner: This kid doesn't give autographs.

Coach: Why? Is he not nice to his fans?

Commissioner: No, he just can't sign his name in cursive yet.

3. Commissioner: This kid is a 5-tool player.

Coach: You mean he can hit for power, hit for average, steal bases, play a great outfield and has a great arm?

Commissioner: No, I mean he's not wearing a diaper anymore, can run without falling, knows which base to run to, knows to hold the bat near the knob and not the barrel and he doesn't cry for mommy during games.

2. Commissioner: Draft this kid!

Coach: Why? Can he hit? Can he catch? Can he throw?

Commissioner: No, his mom always volunteers to be a team mom.

1. And finally, the number one thing you might hear at a Tee ball draft:

Commissioner: This kid really wants to be a Ranger.

Coach: I'm coach of the Rangers and we just drafted him.

Commissioner: Not those Rangers. The Power Rangers.

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