Monday, July 11, 2011

20 crazy things I've thought about in the past week

It's been a pretty good week other than catching this virus in my chest this weekend that has prevented me from going to work. I'm bored so I figured I'd write about the 20 things that have come to my mind over the last 72 hours. Enjoy!

20. I have coached my daughter's soccer team, played soccer in the past and even met model/USA soccer player Heather Mitts yet I have never been any sort of soccer fan...until yesterday afternoon. I watched a short-handed, resilient group of American women come back from the dead and knock off Brazil. I was telling Andrea all about it when she got home. I think she thought I was being sarcastic but that was single-handedly one of the best live games I've ever seen. I am now a big fan of Hope Solo and the girls and can't wait for their Wednesday game against France.

19. Also, being sick, I was able to watch the table tennis quarterfinals between some guy from the US and one from Russia. This wasn't exactly Rocky IV. First off, why are they sweating? Why are they bouncing the ball before serves and why are they getting pumped up after every point? It wasn't much of a match. I felt like I could play better which led me to this idea. What if I moved to Antartica with someone smart like Bill Gates (Andrea and the kids can come too - I heard the school system is great in Antartica - ok, now I'm being sarcastic). Gates could invent an igloo which gets central heat and air. I could live there for 5 years and get dual citizenship and then be the first ever Olympian ping pong player from Antartica and I can compete in the next Olympic Games. Tell me that no one has thought of that one.

18. What does CVS stand for? I read today it stands for Convenience, Value and Service. Sorry to give it away.

17. What is wrong with American tennis? The Williams sisters are all we have and they are getting up there. Roddick can't win a major to save his life. Marty Fish has our best chance and I don't see a guy named Marty Fish winning a major. His name sounds like a cartoon character on Spongebob Squarepants.

16. What is the big deal about the Duke and Dutchess? I get it. She's pretty and has a good looking sister. I get it that his mom died a tragic death and his father has been a prince for like 100+ years but can we all just move on?

15. Why did Casey Anthony go free? Great work by the defense? Terrible work by the prosecution? I think she was guilty as sin but I must admit that the defense was pretty good at letting jurors think that something else could have happened. Just because she's not guilty doesn't mean she's innocent. I just hope she doesn't profit off of this.

14. Why is it that UGA recruits some of the dumbest players in the country? Here's a tweet from UGA Tailback Caleb King who just became academically ineligible for the 2011 season.

First he posted: “Somethings u cant control, and what seems bad right now might turn out good. Too [sic] all of my homeboyz hold UGA down don’t let them brake [sic] u…”

Later he wrote: “I see u when I see u. U cant stress about it Just let God take control.”

All I can say is "Wow!" How did he graduate from Greater Atlanta Christian or should I say "Grater Atlanta Kristen."

I hope for his sake that he gets it together and purchases "Spell Check" with the money from boosters he probably received.

13. Want a good trivia question? Ask someone where the word "news" came from. The answer is the acronym for "North East West South."

12. Why is it at the Peachtree that the fast runners get to run when it's cool out and the more out of shape runners (ie: myself) have to run in the heat? Can't the race start earlier OR can the slow runners go first and have the fast runners dodge every out of shape walker and runner to win the race? Now that would make it more of a competition!

11. How is tennis player Caroline Wozniaki number one in the world without a major title? I think to be number one you have to win at least one major.

10. Why am I sick on the worst sports day of the year? There's no baseball, basketball, football or hockey on today. Why can't I get sick during March Madness?

9. Kim Kardashian tweeted about how she was shocked that Anthony got off when the case was so obvious against her. Kim, your father represented O.J. I rest my case.

8. If a tree fell in the middle of the forest and no one was there, would the Yankees-Red Sox still be the lead story, the middle story and the "closing remarks?" for ESPN Sportscenter? Derek Jeter has a mouth blister or the USA women's team just won the World Cup? I'd hate to make ESPN choose a lead story from those choices.

7. Never watch a horror movie before you fall asleep. The last 3 times I've done that I've dreamt that I was in the movie and I didn't even get a credit for the flick.

6. All these NBA players say that if the lockout lasts, they'll play in Europe next year. "Do you mean it? Don't tease me like that." Does that mean Lebron will be taking his talents to Paris? Bon Voyage!

5. Why is it that winning a negotiation with my daughter beats any business deal I've ever done?

4. Why do Hollywood stars have to name their kids ridiculous names? David Beckham named his daughter Harper Seven supposedly after his jersey number. There is now an Apple, Harper Seven, Blanket and my favorite Rob Morrow's child "Tu." Yes her name is Tu Morrow. There's going to be a generation of kids with a lot of issues. If I was a Hollywood star, Avery would be "Don't gimme no" so it would be "Don't gimme no Lip-man" and Ethan would be "Fat" Lipman. In Hollywood, I'd be called conservative with those choices.

3. So let me get this straight, the Hawks are on lockout, the Falcons are on lockout, we don't have a hockey team anymore and the Braves are all we have. It's great to be a sports fan in Atlanta but at least the Braves are good.

2. When is the time that you stop telling people how many months old your kid is? Does my mom tell people I'm 454 months? I thought I felt old at 37.

1. And the number one question that I've been mulling over the last few days is: Why is Bill Gates not listed in the phone book?

Extra Credit: Goatee or no goatee (see picture attached)? The only vote that matters is Andrea's so don't let this decision haunt you all day.

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