The top 25 things I hate about CF

The 25 things that I despise about having CF.

25. Therapy - Doing my vest and aerosol therapies everyday and losing a couple of hours that I could spend with my wife and children. When I was little, it always made me feel different and alone because I was not allowed to do certain things or go to certain places.

24. Coughing - I hate coughing. I feel like everyone looks at me as if I'm sick and contagious. And quite honestly if you have a coughing attack, it can become really painful.

23. Taking pills - Just once, I'd like the only things I have to remember for a meal to be my fork and knife. Having to remember pills and take them in front of people tends to make every meal an ordeal and it can be quite uncomfortable as well.

22. Life expectancy - I hate having a life expectancy. When I was born, it was 12. When I was 7, it was 25. Now it's 37. Who cares? No one knows their median life expectancy. Life is full of surprises.

21. Going to the doctor - Going to the doctor at least a half dozen times a year is not fun especially when you are going for something life-threatening.

20. Having to go through IVF to have our children - I wish we could have done it the easier, more fun way. I'm sure Andrea agrees there.

19. CF makes your bowels smellier - As if it's not bad enough that it limits having children and forces you to take pills and do treatments, it also makes your trips to the restroom an uncomfortable experience.

18. Cancer - CF makes it more likely that I can have certain types of cancer. I believe I have enough life-threatening things, but thank you.

17. Colds - I can't get near anyone who is sick or who smokes. Bars are pretty much out of the question because of the smoke. If I catch a cold, it doesn't last a couple of days. Sometimes it can last weeks and worst case it can cause a major infection.

16. IV antibiotics - I am lucky to have only done them once but having needles stuck in your arm and having nurses poke and prod me for weeks is not exactly my fantasy.

15. No Marketing Plan - There isn't much recognition of the disease. Everyone knows about cancer, AIDS and heart disease but CF kind of falls by the wasteside. We need more spokespersons.

14. Death of Peers - I have lost a lot of friends who have the disease that I know through the Web.

13. Alienation - I can't be around others with the same disease due to the possibility of spreading bacterial infections. Talk about feeling alone.

12. Explanation - Having to explain it to people. It's not always easy to explain. Plus it makes me feel like a freak because I have all of these problems.

11. Having to explain it to my kids - How do you explain to your children that you have a life-threatening disease? How do you tell them that their dad isn't expected to be here as long as most dads? If you know, please tell me because I have no idea. I'm also worried that my kids will need to grow up a lot faster than their peers because of my disease.

10. Lab Rat - Asked to be a part of all of these case studies and experiments. I'm not a lab rat. I'm a person. I have people tell me you're a perfect candidate for this because of these issues that you have. Do they realize that's not exactly a way to make me feel good?

9. Acronyms - I've found myself coming up with Acronyms for CF like the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation did with Cure Found. So far I have "Can Fight, Can Function, Can't Fail, Cape Fear (I like horror movies), and Can Fundraise! It's annoying but I can't stop.

8. Depression and other mental issues - I'm not letting CF take all of the blame for my problems but there is a good portion that I can credit to growing up with this disease and being scared and unsure of how to deal.

7. Fear - I fear dying before my children grow up. I fear leaving Andrea without a husband. I fear getting sick.

6. CF Related Diabetes - or CFRD - it's a type of CF Diabetes that is very common. That's why I have a glucose test every year.

5. I'm the patient - CF is still known as a young person's disease so sometimes when I get X-rays they ask where the patient is and they ask if it's my son.

4. Where's the Cure - I believe there will be a cure one day but I've been told a cure could be 7 to 10 years away for the last 25 years. It makes the doctors seem like the boy who cried wolf.

3. Knowing that a lung transplant is a good possibility - It's scary to think that there's a pretty good chance I could get a lung transplant. I'm scared of having that surgery as it can be fatal. I'm scared of feeling so sick that a transplant will seem like a relief. I'm scared I'll be carrying oxygen around one day.

2. Knowing that my kids will be carriers of this awful disease - I just want it to die and not be carried on. My kids and their spouses will have to be screened before having kids. I wish I could take that worry away from them.

1. Losing Wendy to this damn disease! I would have liked to have an older sister that I could talk about these other 24 concerns with. It's hard to believe that you could never meet someone yet still miss them. That's the case when it comes to my feelings for my big sister. May she rest in peace.

Andy's sports weekend

The Rivalry

Well, it was a semi-good weekend. Andrea and I went to our 10th installment of Georgia-Florida. This wonderful rivalry began in 2001 when Georgia shocked Tennessee on a last-second touchdown in Knoxville. Andrea and I now have a bet where the kids have to wear the shirts of the winning team. Well, this year the Dawgs gave me a 6-4 advantage in the all-time rivaly with a 41-14 triumph over the Vols! Pictures of my beautiful children (even more beautiful in this picture) are enclosed.

The Braves

I'm still crying on the inside. We were there last night as Brooks Conrad made 3 errors to cost the Braves a victory but I don't blame that BC as much as I do the other BC! Bobby Cox should have never had him in there and should have never taken out our new closer, Craig Kimbrell. I know players love Cox because he's loyal but I claim he's loyal to a MAJOR fault. He gives guys too many chances. Conrad had about 6 errors in his last 6 games yet Cox still left him in there. It was frustrating to watch as ball after ball went through Brooks' glove. What made things worse is we were stuck in the Turner Field parking lot for about 90 minutes as the parking attendants tried to figure out how to let cars out one at a time. Talk about frustrating!

Emily got to sit in the Suntrust seats and was a few seats over from Dr. J, President Jimmy Carter and Ted Turner. We also saw Jason Bateman on the Jumbotron as he was there filming a movie. Maybe he can do the Brooks Conrad story as another project.

The Falcons

I'm really proud of the Falcons. We're now 4-1 and on the path towards a high seed in the NFC playoffs. The Birds won a big road game in Cleveland yesterday. In the past, we would have lost a game like this but we hung tough and got the victory.

That was the weekend. I hope all of you had a good weekend. If you're interested in donating to Wish for Wendy and supporting my Wish page, please go to http://www.cff.org/LWC/AndyLipman14477. Thanks.

Andy

Today's Health Update

Well, I went to the doctor on Wednesday and found out my cholesterol was indeed high but they'll give me 4 more months to lower it. I have been on a diet for four weeks and actually weighed myself this morning and realized I've lost 10 of the 12 pounds I set as a goal by the middle of this month. I've completely cut out sodas and have lowered my sugar intake quite a bit. I still have my Twizzlers from time to time but much less of them. I finished Tobi yesterday. I was thrilled about that. That's two more hours of my time per day that I can now spend with Andrea and the kids.

I was going through my pill bottles this morning and I found one bottle that still has Dr. Wolfenden's name on it because she put in the prescription. It's going to be sad when her name disappears from future prescriptions. I miss her.

I had an addiction meeting last night. It went really well. I had a friend join me who was going through something similar to what I was going through nearly a year ago. I hope he got a lot out of it. I also completed my 12 steps yesterday. I was really excited. I'm not ready to sponsor yet. I want to wait till after Wish for Wendy but also I want to work on things to continue to improve my family life first. Family is my number one priority.

This cold weather of late only reminds me that winter is near. The days will be shorter and the opportunities to go outside will lessen. I also realize that my health is always at risk the colder it gets. I will keep it together this time though as I realize how important my sobriety is to keeping my loved ones happy.

A Wish for Wendy is going well. We are close to $950,000 which means we are getting closer to $1 million. We also have a few celebrities that have committed. I'll announce the entire group when we get them. If you want to donate under my name for our cause, please go to http://www.cff.org/LWC/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?idEvent=14477&idUser=348812. Thanks.

Tonight we are celebrating my dad and mom's return and my dad's good health. He's really happy to be home. We are really excited to have the whole family back together again. I have included a picture of dad, or as Andrea calls him "Andy Lipman in 30 years" because of our clone-like looks.

I stayed up to watch the Braves game last night. Here is my analysis. Conrad needs to be a pinch-hitter only. Glaus deserves a shot at third. Lincecum is a heck of a pitcher. The announcers were not that good but I still prefer TBS to Fox. Game 2 is today so hopefully the Braves will show up.

Tomorrow we head to Athens for Georgia-Tennessee or what some people will probably call it "The Toilet Bowl." Our program has regressed the last few years so much so that we don't get the primetime game anymore and the proof is the announcing crew that makes me cringe every Saturday. Sunday I have Avery's soccer game, then my friend Seth's son's bris. Then the day will close with Andrea, myself, Emily and my dad going to the Braves playoff game. This will be Andrea's first playoff game so I'm excited that she gets to go. Needless to say, this weekend is jam-packed with stuff to do.

I hope everyone else is well. Keep up the fight. Live your dreams and love your life.

Best Wishes,

Andy

Dad's Home, Tobi's almost done, the Braves made the playoffs!

Here's what is going on with me.

Tobi

It's Tuesday and I only have 2 days of Tobi left. I'm so ready to take that 2 hours of therapy out of my day. I have to do Tobi every other month as it is one of the prime drugs to keep pseudomonas away.

More about my speech

I recently was told by another Kiwanis club member that my speech last month was the first in his 27 years at the club that he ever remembered seeing a standing ovation. That was really nice to hear.

Life is busy

Well, the last 7 days have been interesting and especially busy. Last Thursday I had my addiction meeting. It went really well. One of the guys said something that really hit me. He said "You can't help having your addiction, but you can help being a victim of it." I love that line and it's true. When I think of my addiction and how down I was, I thought of the song from Creed called "I've created my own prison." That's what I did. By having more faith in God and myself, I believe I'm destroying that prison and living a healthy life. I want to apply my new coping skills to being a good daddy and husband. These are the two most important roles I've ever had.

Zenpep

I started Zenpep which is a drug that replaces my Pancrease MT-16. This may sound like no big deal to you but I'd been taking Pancrease for over 30 years so this change had me worried. Pancrease is no longer approved by the FDA so that's why it is no longer available. Zenpep helps me digest food. Two days in and no side effects.

Seeing Family

On Friday, Andrea and I went to one of my cousins' bar mitzvahs. I think he's my cousin twice removed or once removed or he was put on probation and now he's allowed to be my cousin again. Anyway, it was nice. It was at the synagogue I grew up in. We met some really cool people and got to hang out with some family that I hadn't seen in years. I even learned that the Lipman family is cursed with people with no direction sense. I was wondering where I got that wonderful trait.

The Braves

On Saturday, Andrea, myself, Emily and a friend of hers went to Bobby Cox day. It was pretty cool to see all of the past players that were there. We actually sat near the suite where most of the players hung out during the game so I got to talk to Fred McGriff briefly. The Braves got crushed so it was another horrible sports day for me as my Dawgs lost to Colorado later that night.

Sunday made up for the bad sports day. After Avery's soccer game, I went home to watch the Braves clinch the wildcard and the Falcons win a last second nailbiter. I can't wait to go to the first playoff game Sunday night. Hopefully we won't be down 2-0 by that point.

Dad


Mom and Dad are coming home tonight. I'm so happy they are back. Dad is doing great. We had a Wish for Wendy meeting at my house tonight. Wednesday, Andrea is playing tennis so I have the kids. Thursday I have my meeting. Friday, we are going to dinner with my dad to celebrate his return. Saturday Andrea and I are going to our rivalry game. This will be our 10th consecutive year going to Tennessee-Georgia. I believe I lead the all-time series but it's close as the Dawgs have choked recently. We have a deal that our kids get to wear the winning team's outfits the following day. I will enclose a picture next week HOPEFULLY of the kids wearing red and black. Sunday we are going to the Braves playoff game. It's been about 6 years since a playoff game was played at Turner Field. I hope the crowd is as revved up as I am.

Yesterday my softball team won 10-5 and moved to 3-0. I had a hit but didn't do much else. The team is having fun though and I think we have a real shot to compete for a title if everyone stays healthy. It was cool to see my sister come out and cheer us on. She might just be our good luck charm.

I met with my sponsor today and completed Step 10 and began Step 11. I will be working on Step 11 next week and then turning in my work to my sponsor...and then we will work on the 12th and final step of my recovery process. I'm excited to complete this program. I'm also looking forward to a year of addiction sobriety.

I am going to the doctor tomorrow morning to have my cholesterol looked at. It was high a few weeks ago so I will probably be on more meds. I went to my dietician and got some facts about lowering cholesterol and continue to lose weight by giving up most sodas and some candy. I've gone from 197 three weeks ago to 188. The goal is 185 within 4 weeks. We'll see.

Have a great day!

Andy

Life after Disney

Disney

Well this past week we took the kids to Disney. I tell you what. Taking 2 small kids to Disney World is no small feat. First, they are off schedule which means they are CRAZY!!! Second, you have to watch their every move. Third, you have to tell them "no" every five minutes when you pass an ice cream parlor or a souvenir stand. It was fun though and it was awesome to see their reactions to the characters and the rides. Ethan got to meet Buzz Lightyear and Avery got to meet Mary Poppins among others. Andrea and I were exhausted upon returning late Saturday night but it was worth it. Before we arrived at Disney, we stopped at my Nana's house for a night. It was the first time that the kids had been there and Nana was so excited. She had so many toys that Geoffrey the Giraffe was jealous. We also saw Andrea's mom and her husband. The kids love them especially Avery. It was nice to see family. The older you get, the more you appreciate your loved ones. At least that's what I've found.

Today's picture

Enclosed is a picture of the kids in their Halloween costumes. Apparently Disney doesn't disappear just because I left Orlando.


Health

I'm still on Tobi. I believe this is week 3 of 4. It's getting a bit exhausting especially since I was up till 1 a.m. every night at Disney finishing up my treatments. It's like being on Pacific Coast Time but having to arrange your schedule around East Coast time as I still have to work out, do my therapy and be at work in the morning. Still I got some pretty good health news. My sputum culture was normal and my numbers were all pretty good except my cholesteral which was quite high. That's all I need is more medicine. I'll see my doctor and see what I need to do to treat this. I've also lost about 7 pounds on my diet so far. It's been 2.5 weeks. My goal is to lose 12 pounds in 4 weeks so we'll see.

Softball

My softball team is now 2-0 as we blew out yet another opponent last week 18-9. I went 4 for 4 and drove in several runs and played a solid first base. We have a former minor league player from the Dodgers organization throwing it 90mph to me at SS and I'm making the plays so I'm thrilled with that.

Braves

The Braves are 1.5 games up in the wild card race so it's coming down to the final week. Andrea and I are going Saturday. Maybe that will be the clincher. Either way, it's Bobby Cox day and I'm ready to say "Bon Voyage!" I appreciate what he's done for the organization but I think his managing skills have definitely declined over the last decade. It will be nice to get some new blood in here.

Falcons

I'm really proud of my Falcons. Great win against the Saints the other day. Matt Ryan is my QB. I know Vick is having a great year but Ryan is going to win us a Super Bowl in the next 5 years. You can take that to the bank.

Soccer

Avery's soccer team is 1-1 in our first 2 games. The kids have a great time and I'm having fun coaching them. I ordered trading cards of my soccer player if anyone is interested in a definite collector's piece.

My depression

I saw my therapist this week and agreed that since it's fall and almost winter that I will be seeing him more often. This is the time of year where I get depressed. I already feel a hint of it. I've also made some more discoveries about my youth that have caused me to really think hard about how much I really want to know about my past. I've missed my addiction meetings the last 2 weeks due to travel and seeing friends and I look forward to returning on Thursday. These meetings have become part of my life. The phone calls to friends from my group have also become a necessity. I spoke to several of these friends the last few days. My sponsor and I completed Step 9 on Wednesday which has been a grueling step. I will be working on Step 10 next week. That is basically continuing to do the right things and react the right way to things. I've made amends to a few people but I have several more amends to go.

Conclusion

Wish for Wendy is going well. We are having a lot of volunteers sign up and several new sponsors are on board thanks to Rusty Sneiderman our sponsorship chairman. Our goal is to hit $1 million cumulative over the past 11 years. I believe we're around $950 thousand right now. I'm excited that my parents are coming home next week. I miss them very much. My dad is doing great and can't wait to get home. Thanks to all of you who have asked about him. Andrea and the kids are well. Andrea starts her tennis matches again soon. I look forward to hearing about her kick-butt performances.

Well, that's it. I'll try to update my blog once a week for now on. Have a great week everyone. I hope all of you are healthy and happy.

Best Wishes,

Andy

Return of the Speaker

It had been over a year since my last big talk. I wasn't that nervous to get back out there. I was ready. I was speaking to the Kiwanis Club of Northside Atlanta over by the High Museum. There were about 25 people there. Most of them were between 65 and 75 years of age. One guy told me as soon as I walked in, "So you're the speaker? You better be good." He wasn't kidding either.

I'd been a pretty good speaker to this point. I don't want it to sound like bragging but I knew that I could do a good job. My last really big speech had probably been at the 11 Alive Community Service Awards about 4 years ago. I enclosed a picture from that night with Atlanta Falcons defensive pro bowler Patrick Kerney.

It was a pretty serious crowd yesterday. I put some brochures and booklets on the table, grabbed some lunch and waited for Joel Isenberg, a friend of my father's, to introduce me.

I did not have any notes. I hadn't practiced. I hadn't given a speech in a year and a half. How would I do?

I began speaking at 1:30 and finished my speech around 5 till 2pm. I took 10 minutes of questions. And when I finished, I got a rousing standing ovation. This one woman who just come back fom a mission in Africa couldn't stop hugging me. She said she didn't know me but was so proud of me. I had one man tell me that he'd been in this club for 30 years and he'd never seen a standing ovation with everyone getting up at the same time and clapping like that. He said he'd heard many people speak in his 70+ years on this earth and he would group me with one other man that he'd heard speak...Harry S. Truman. I was honored that he would put me in that company. I know I have a gift for speaking but I also think my story is really what captures an audience, not necessarily how I tell it.

I got a donation of $50 from the group after shaking everyone's hands afterwards. I felt like a rock star which is dangerous for an addict. You never want to get too high on yourself. I got in my car and stopped for a moment. I said my serenity prayer and got myself to a place of calm.

Joel e-mailed me last night to tell me that the speech was the most inspirational he had seen. I then got a donation on-line from one of the guys in the audience. I got a lot of compliments and was very happy with the response. I guess motivational speaking is what I'm meant to do. This is my talent. When I was young, public speaking was nowhere on my list of careers I'd like to do. I wanted to be a baseball player,a veterinarian, a doctor, a fireman or even a teacher. In 5th grade, I had to memorize a 14-line sonnet and I choked. I couldn't remember a single line. I knew the whole sonnet the night before but I'd totally forgotten it by the time I stood up. Ms. Stansberry gave me a D and asked me to sit down. I was humiliated. I never wanted to get in front of a crowd again. I remember though when that changed.

I was in high school. This was my senior year and everyone was doing reports on diseases that affect this country. My disease was AIDS. One afternoon. my teacher said, "Andy, are you ready to give your presentation?"

"Ummmm...sure," I said, "but can we eat lunch first so I can get something to eat. I'm hungry." We had the choice and the teacher was cool with it. I totally forgot about the presentation. I hadn't done any work for it. Most people spent weeks researching their project. I had less than an hour to put together a 20 minute speech on a disease that I'd barely heard of except for the death of Rock Hudson, a famous Hollywood actor.

I researched for 20 minutes and found very little in our library. AIDS was still not that well known and views about it were different depending on where you looked. Twenty minutes later, I almost went to my teacher and asked for an F, but I knew I needed this class to graduate and this presentation was almost half my grade. I was going to have to wing it. So sadly I made up half of my statistics but I spoke from the heart telling people how tough a disease AIDS was. Looking back, I should have been ashamed for my lack of preparation and misinformation concerning statistics. But that report was half my grade and I had to graduate. The teacher even started to cry. Twenty-five minutes later, I'd given the speech of my life. I'd made up for the 5th grade disaster with an impromptu act that would have made some of the great public speakers cheer. I got an A. The story is something I'm not proud of, but sometimes great things come when you least expect them. It was then that I knew I had this gift. I just never knew how I could use it. I do now. I'll use it to spread awareness and hopefully help us find a cure for CF and save so many people's lives. I'd like to find Ms. Stansberry and have her hear me now.

Today was Yom Kippur, the day of atonement for Jews. I know I have a lot of atoning to do. Yesterday afternoon I finally began Step 9 by contacting a few people who were on my list of people I harmed. Both appreciated my gesture and said the feeling was mutual. It ended on good terms and I felt some relief. My sponsor told me after a few of these responses I was going to feel better about myself. He was right. Still there are more people to contact. There is more closure to receive.

Avery has her first soccer game tomorrow and I'm really excited. I hope the kids have fun in my soccer coaching debut. Andrea has a big tennis match tomorrow. I'll be cheering on my Braves and hoping they can sweep the Mets. We're 1.5 games up pending the SF-Milwaukee game tonight.

I hope everyone has a good night.

Andy

Morning treatments

Well, since I thought the evening treatment play-by-play was a good idea, now I'm showing you how the morning treatments work while I also discuss another blog topic.

6:00am: I got out of bed, prepared my medications and went to my little workout room which I jokingly call AL (Andy Lipman) Fitness. I hope LA Fitness doesn't sue me. The great thing about the name is that Andrea can work out there too. And Avery. Sorry Ethan.

6:40am: I finished my bicep/tricep workout while I watched season 1 of The Office for about the 200th time. I used to love that show but it kind of jumped the shark when Jim and Pam got married.

6:45am: I did my sinus wash, my sinus spray, my nasal antibiotic and my Xopenex inhaler. I then clean my hands and start my hypertonic saline.

Last night was difficult to write about. It's hard to write about your flaws as a person especially when your life is essentially a book. I used to be so afraid to tell people about myself that I locked myself in my room for days without coming out. Those were my college days, but there are still mornings in which I feel that way. I force myself sometimes to be social. People have a hard time believing that I'm very shy because once I get going I could talk to a fire hydrant. The truth is that I sometimes have to give myself a pep talk before I walk into a big room of people. The irony is that I love public speaking. I've yet to figure that one out. In fact, I have a speech this Friday at a Kiwanis Club in Atlanta near the High Museum. It's my first speech in about a year since I finally started working on my problems.

6:59am: I have started my vest therapy while still being on my hypertonic saline.

I'm a bit lonely right now as Ethan usually joins me in the basement by now. It used to be a pain to have him run around and grab me and throw things at me. Now I realize that I love it. I love having the company sometimes. Therapy I suppose has always been my isolation. Ever since I got the machine, no one really hangs out with me while I do my therapy. Andrea used to offer to hang with me but it's gotten a lot tougher now that we have two kids because she has to listen out for them. My therapy is so loud that it doesn't allow us to hear them. When I say therapy is my isolation, I also mean that by the fact that it makes me different. I've always felt that way. Unless I'm making a speech because people know I have CF, it's difficult to admit that I'm different to the unsuspecting peer. Still, this is all I know. I don't know what it's like to wake up, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast and go to work. I do all of those things but I add about two hours of therapy and medical treatments to that every morning and every night.

Whenever I take a moment to think of all the meds/treatments I do during a day, I have to admit that it's overwhelming. I try to look at it though that there are other people in much more dire circumstances and I should feel fortunate. I also remember that my sister Wendy would have traded with me in a heartbeat. She only got 16 days on this earth. By my count, I'm over 10,000 days. I hated taking pills growing up. My mom used to stick them in oatmeal and make me take them that way. As far as my postural drainage (when my parents hit my back, sides and front before there was a vest machine), I used to wiggle, jump up and annoy my parents because I hated just laying there. Heck, look at me when I do my therapy now. I have to be doing something else like writing a blog or watching TV.

Where is Ethan? Come on buddy. Daddy's ready to be harrassed. He has become such a good talker now. You would never know he had a stroke. When I come home now, he grabs my hand and says "Daddy, look." He shows me something he's been playing with. After about 15 minutes, when I try to go to the bathroom or upstairs to take a breath, he whines "Daddy, uppy!!! Uppy!" He doesn't want me to leave so I pick him up and he hangs out with me. Avery has been a more difficult project for me and I blame that on me. I was not a good father to her during her first couple of years on this earth. I ignored her at times and didn't appreciate the amazing little girl she was turned into. I regret those moments but I've learned that you can't look back. We now have our time together either through daddy-daughter days or just a simple talk when I drive her somewhere. Having my alone time with her is so special. She's definitely got me wrapped around her little finger but don't tell her. I can't afford anymore Barbies.

I never knew I could feel the way about someone that I do about my children. They are a huge part of my life. I would die for them.

7:16am: I'm done with my hypertonic saline and have now moved on to my Pulmozyme aerosol. I'm still doing the vest as I'll finish them both in about 25 minutes.

This weekend is going to be a busy one. We have Yom Kippur Friday night and Saturday morning, which I mentioned in the previous blog is the Jewish Day of Atonement. Friday night is called Kol Nidre which is the holiest night of the year. Andrea and I will be in synagogue Friday night and Saturday morning. We are supposed to fast during that time. Due to taking meds and doing treatments, I usually grab something small to eat and drink water throughout the day. I like to think that God understands. I have fasted before but I've noticed that it affects me a little more than the average person to go without food.

Okay, if Ethan doesn't show up soon, I'm going to start throwing toys at myself. Maybe Avery will arrive first. Sometimes she just walks down and sits next to me. That of course means the end of this blog because it will be time for Starfall which is a kid's educational website that she and Ethan love.

Did I mention that with my therapy, I have to pay special attention to the time. I start my therapy at 40 minutes but I have to increase the frequency at 25 minutes, 20 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes and 5 minutes. There is no buzzer or timer to tell me when to make the adjustments. I just have to be cognizant of the time.

The one thing I don't like about Tobi besides taking time away from hanging out with Andrea and the kids is that it makes me late for work. Most people with CF don't have full time jobs because with our medical agenda, it's almost impossible. I've made it work thanks to a very understanding workplace. Yes, it helps that my father plays a large role in the company but also I have some very understanding co-workers. I do the best I can to be as "normal" as possible. It' just difficult. Most people show up between 8:00am and 8:30am. I'm there closer to 9:00am. Sure I could wake up at 4:30am and do my therapy then but per my doctor and my wife I need to get my rest. It's not healthy to get four hours of sleep per night.

Since I've already worked out, I have to come up with something else to do during my 20 minute hiatus between my Pulmozyme and my Tobi. Today I think I'm going to run laps in the basement for about 5 minutes and then maybe check out my sports scores (although it's tough on mornings after the Braves lose) or my Facebook account. I've added a lot of friends. People think I'm crazy by doing that and maybe it is the addict in me because some of the people I friend don't know me, but they have a tie to cystic fibrosis so I figure it's a good way to tell them about my blog. It's also a good way to educate myself about things they might be doing that I have not tried to stay healthy. Also by starting Facebook groups, I'm learning that I'm not the only one that goes through depression partially because of this disease. There are many others who at one point thought they were alone too.

Well I'm one of the few East coasters that watched the entire Giants-Dodgers game last night. Sadly the Giants won and the Braves are about to be chasing a playoff spot instead of being able to control their own destiny. I love baseball. I don't know if I love it because it's a distraction from CF or if it's because it was the first true thing that my father and I both loved. It was our bond. It was the only show he and I agreed on when I was growing up. He would compromise his "60 minutes" and I would give up "The Facts of Life."

Speaking of my dad, he's doing better. His spirits are high. He'll be home soon. Everyone at work asks about him. I have to wear the strong face at work but I do worry at times. I'm his son and I love him, but I also know that he's doing well and this time in our lives is going to allow me to never take my father for granted again. I can say the same thing for my mother. She has been a rock. I love her so much. Yes, she nags me and worries about me but I believe those are two requisites in the Jewish mother handbook. If you ever lose your "Real White Pages" and you need to get a number, my mom can be your source. She knows everyone. Not only will you get a number, but you can have a background check added on for free whether you want it or not. For example, "Larry, oh I know his mom. Do they still live on Rocky Street? How's her arthritis? Does he still have that birthmark on his right knee?" You laugh but it's incredible. My parents are my heroes. They fight for me and they believe in me. I haven't always deserved their encouragement but they still give it to me and love me as if I was perfect. They show me a love that I not only want to give back to them but that I want to give to my kids and my wife.

7:41am: Vest is done. Pulmozyme is therefore done. I hear Andrea's footsteps which means Ethan and Avery are near. I can't wait to see the three of them. That's how I will spend my twenty minute break. I want to hang out with my family. During my problematic days, I never said nor felt that and that's really sad.

8:09am: I'm starting my Tobi aerosol treatment.

So I did a little running in place, hung out with the kids and Andrea for 5 minutes and then took the quickest shower I could. I also got all my meds together that I'll have to take while I'm at work. That's a total of about 20 pills. I also found out that I'm losing my mind because apparently when I woke up, Ethan woke up but since I left before he saw me, he didn't really think to hang out with me. I also want to bring up another thing. I hope I don't make it look like I do all of this and Andrea is sitting on the couch eating bon bons. That's not the case. That's not even close to the case. She has to get Avery prepared for her day at school. She has to straighten things up for the cleaners who come every other week. She has to watch the kids part of the time I'm doing my therapy. She has to get ready for work. Remember she's also a cancer survivor and has multiple sclerosis. There are so many others things I can mention that she does for me and the kids. She's my lucky star which is kind of what I think about when I look at the picture attached. Yes, funny people, I know that this is a picture of the moon but it's shining and moon metaphors don't go over as well.

Andrea is an overachiever herself. I just try to tell this blog from my end so sometimes I fail to mention things about others in the house. Magic, I'll write about you in the next blog and how you allow me to feed you every morning and give you treats. I know your life is not a picnic either.

Speaking of others in the house, I hear "Daddy, Daddy!" Here comes my little man. I can't believe how much I took my children for granted. I was mentally sick. Depression isn't something that goes away nor are my other emotional/mental issues. I have to be proactive and that's why I attend meetings and seek therapy. I don't want to let my family down again.

8:45am: Well, I'm done with my Tobi and off to work. I took Ethan upstairs, grabbed some breakfast on the run and should be at work a few minutes after 9:00am.

Thanks for spending time with me over the last 10 hours and 2 blogs. Hopefully it gave you a small peak into my CF world. Have a great day. For my Jewish friends, have an easy fast. For my other friends, have a wonderful weekend and never take for granted the time you have with family and friends. In fact, never take for granted any time you have just being alive. It truly is the greatest gift you'll ever have. I have to go now. Someone is throwing toys at me.

Live your dreams and love your life,

Andy